I reckon this guy that I just knew thinks I'm sick and having a mental disorder for giving him the cold shoulders and initiate fights without reason. Me with my ridiculous fuss. I know you are laughing right now and cursing me “bitch!” under your breath because you know I'm not usually like that. I don't know why I'm behaving that way. I promise I'll be nice next time. If only there's next time.

Daniel was online right after that and he thinks I'm sadist. I was about to defend myself until he said "I'm your ex-boyfriend and I've been with you since your teen years although we are far apart! I know you wawa so shut up!" How pleasant. We chatted and I laugh hysterically over our silly conversations until Subuh and Ibu thinks I'm possessed by the morning jin and suggested to perform my prayers first. I can't help it but feel really good at this hour. I miss the guy who made me feel that way. I miss Dzulfikri Adam.

Okay I know girlfriends, I see that face bouncing off your computer screen. Urgh.

There are some things which are surmountable and some that are not. Isn't it strange that what some of us perceive as difficult and impossible, others perceive it as simple or character-building, or valorous. I wonder where do these perceptions come from.

Walker Evans Truck And Sign, 1930

I didn't realize how much I really miss you until we met few days ago. I wish you are not hers and I wish we can still pick up all the pieces that's been lying everywhere. All these are just against my will. I can keep on dreaming. But all I need from you is just one, I'm hoping we can be good friends like how we were back then. I miss you. I really do.

For the past months, i've witnessed a few incidents relating to death before my eyes. It all happened in an instant. I can feel that death is getting closer to me. Allah is telling me something, to be near Him. I'm sorry for not talking to you as often now. Subhanallah.

What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.

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