we'll get there someday, somehow....

this pattern of sudden deaths happening one after another is beginning to freak me out.
i mean seriously.
i lost a lot of family members this year.

and within this time,it's two weeks after another.

tok khadis passed away last last friday,and my buyut(nenek's mum) came to singapore to visit the late family and within 2 wks,she had to rush back m'sia because her son-in-law died of heart attack 3 days after welcoming his new born grandaughter in this world today.and whose son passed away last 2 yrs without any sickness when he's doing his national service in m'sia.
weird isnt it?
and one of my closest grandfather that is. ='(
my mind went blank the moment i went out of my room and there was sudden silence in the living room and everyone were crying.
it was really unexpected.
and the sadden thing is i cant follow them to m'sia cuz im schooling and no one will take care of the house in the afternoon.
no.it's not an excuse this time.
cuz i've been wanting to balek kampung since the beginning of the year.

oh well.
semoga allah mencucuri rohnya.amin.

life's unpredictable.
allah maha berkuasa.
everything is possible in his hands.
even in just a wink.
i thank god that my own family and i are blessed with good health and long-lived for the elder ones.
but..we know anything can happen.
na'uzubillah mizaliq.

all these signs should prove me enough,to cherish each and every moment of my life and most importantly,be his loyal servant and realised that things can happen wherever and whenever.
even beyond our expectations.
until when am i gonna be like this?
i call myself a muslim.
but then..i dont practice it.
not even close to 5 times of praying a day!
i realised the responsibility that i didnt do.
i admit that im not even a good muslim to start with.
the mind says another and the actions speaks otherwise.
no.im not preaching.just note to self.

i dont feel good yet again.
something is going to happen.i can feel it.whats next?

*sigh*