we'll get there someday, somehow....

Chapter 16.
---------------

the intricate chapter of all.

the .end.
_______

dramatic year for me.
the bittersweet memories.
very challenging year.
ALLAH s.w.t test me a lot this time.
it's overwhelming.

i've learnt that the older we are..the bigger and challenging the problems we gonna face.
more responsibilities.
maybe that's it.

well.life.
it's not always smooth sailing.
full of ups and downs and it goes round and round.

but hey...what's life w/out it's ups and downs ryte..
all those are the sugar and spices of life.

i won't really touch in too personal abt everything that happened.
those avid readers of mine and those listening ears will know whatever i've been through.
the unpleasant roller-coaster ride.

the good and bad experiences portray every single day.
but those memories..
whether good or bad..are worth to treasure.
it makes me stronger as days goes by.
at the same time...
...when it's too much...i get weak.
and that make me learnt.
to survive.
to bear the excruciating pain.
to accept fate.
to realised that the MAN above is trying to test us.
that's to show how strong and how mature we are handling everything.
and also to make me realised that He can change everything in just seconds.
ALLAH MAHA BERKUASA.
yes.it gives a knock on my head somehow to worship him...to be his loyal servant.
perform my duties as a Muslim.
the only ALLAH s.w.t.
but then...whatever i said i wanna do.the actions speak otherwise.
typical aint it?
im sure other fellow muslims are like that too.
but not all.yeah right!

the mr. gentleman-soft-spoken-dancer.
the man who changed my life.
the man whom i always blogged abt.
the only one.
he do change my life.
he makes me stronger.
his loss makes me cherish whatever is before my eyes now.
my first true love?
only god noes.
and he's the ever first guy that makes me break down and think.
no.im not kidding.
im touched by his warmth love.
by the way he treats me soo well.
the way he respect me and makes me special.
the ever sincerest guy i met before.
such a gentleman he is.
for god sake he's 23...and that shows how mature he is.
maybe we're not fated to be together.
it took me months to recover.
i cry every night thinking of him.
thinking how stupid i was.
how i can't pull through w/out him by my side.
ppl blame me for hurting him.
even his girl-friends,who is also my dancemates....
blame me for making his life miserable too.
they say i'm lucky to get a nice,sweet guy like him.
how other girls wish they can get him.yea rite!
and he's a rare catch.
he got the look..the brain..and the heart.
how rare is that?
and if too many heartaches caused by girls...
he'll be a gay one day!haha.oooooops!
it's not easy for him to fell in love and once he did...it's hard for him to forget it.
he will go great distance.
i dunnoe it's that bad until his bestfriend said that to me after what happened.
i hate myself for making the mess.
i hate myself for taking him for granted.
oh well.im still young.how should i know.
budak mentah.
and so...this ego of mine.
i didnt apologised at all.
i just hope he wont bear grudges against me.
thank you for everything my friend.
thank you for everything my dancing partner. ;)
thank you for making me realised what life and love is.
thank you for making me open my eyes wide.
thank you my love.
till we meet again.
may 2005.full stop.
like what u said.."kalau jodoh..tak ke mana".
and i don't regret how strongly i feel for him.
it's just that how stupid i am to play with his feelings.
ahaaaaa!

also..not to forget the friendship i made along the way.
be it frm blogger,friendster,town,shows or anywhere.
thank you sooo much.
i'm proud to say that my social circle of frens is expanding and im loving it.
im content to know that they love being my fren and trust me.
thank you sooo much for everything.
even words cant express how much im thankful for the friendship build.

my lovely family.
my life.
i love u guys to the core.
even tho i rarely spend tyme with u ppl..
and yes.i admit that i "pentingkan kawan".
but that doesnt mean i dun like spending time with y'all.
just that im tired of all those naggings frm ibu.
and those conservative minds of her.
i noe u ppl care and love me.
but heyy....im sure u ppl haf fun too when ur my age.
only cik ain and cik adik understands.
errrmm...a lil.
k whatever it is.
wa caya sama lu!hahs.
<33 style="font-size:180%;">Happy New Year PPL!!
HAPPY 2006!

*sigh of relief*
*bismillahirahmanirahim*

=)