we'll get there someday, somehow....

dear diary,

let me save you as draft because i don't feel like sharing.
i'll publish only when i feel like im writing here again.
most probably after my buaya pencen is done with my new skin.
god knows when.

i've been busy with work. all these months i've been slaving my life to nothing else but work.

just nothing else but work. ever since i tender my resignation, i've been coming back on weekends to finish up all the stuffs assigned to me that i've not been taking a look at. and also when i was busy preparing for the upcoming trial nxt week and have been doing only that file which resulted to other files remain unmoved. it was nothing but hectic.

now that im working, i've learn the worker i am.
and i dare to say im a workaholic because i know i am.
im not trying to impress anyone, it's just that when i was given a task, i am going to make sure it's done on that day itself. unless i am too tired for it.
what more my boss gave me one work after another, case by case and when i've not finish up on a certain file, they pile up another file for me to finish up on. and the reason why im working late is to finish the whole lot without anyone disturbing because it's past working hours, but no. they still give me things to do. (and knock knock? did they realised i've been working there for not even half a year and im new to working life?i dun think so.)

it was a living hell. i have no life and did not enjoy the work as much as i used to.
it is a little daunting, but how else will i learn, right?

lucky me to have fun colleagues to cheer me up. and somehow or rather, i find myself in an unfair state. looking at how many people i have to assist, and shitloads of things that needs to be done with my meagre pay. oh, dont get me started on my pay!

okay. for someone like me, who doesnt have an experience with the expectations they have on me, the pay is consider satisfying. i am thankful for all that but tell me what's the point of working in the office when you get out of the office much much later than expected? being cooped up in your workstation for more than 8 hours is boring and it's pretty much static.

with clients chasing me, with the terrible staffs in court, with me going home almost at 10 everyday, i feel like as if im the no-lifer lawyer.hah. right. i dont even want to. never in my dreams. *rolls eyes*

nonetheless, it's really a good experience for me. i've learn a lot. and i learn almost everything what an experienced secretary needs to know. i learn how to be responsible, that's the most important. and i know, when i leave the company, there's still a few things that i need to finish up on but im not able to because i really can't take it anymore. i've done all my best to finish up on everything but for god sake, im still a weak human. i know i've done my very best and i dont wish to look back and regret. i just hope my colleagues understand that and i feel bad to keep troubling them now and then. they understand what im going through and my woes. nothing can express my gratitude towards them. i owe a lot. i just hope although we're not going to be colleagues anymore, the friendship remains. such gorgeous people and i cant bear to lose them.

the working environment is excellent, what more with the nonsense talks from the lawyers, such crazy and fun people, but with the way my life is going, i have to put a stop.

most people hate what im going through right now. they are quite unhappy with it.
most often than not, i'll quarrel with my mum, dzul and some of my friends because of work.
i have lesser time with them.
and look, some of us are not close anymore because i've not spending my time with them.

i am pretty much dissapointed with myself.
things just couldn't be right escpecially with the mishap that happened to dzul that i wont forget and almost cant forgive myself for that.

so, the conclusion, to make myself and the people around me happy,
and to get my old-self back,
i bid my goodbyes. soon enough.

and yes!it's a sunday and yours truly is back at work!!!
life's great! don't you think so?