we'll get there someday, somehow....

this gonna be a heavy entry.you are warned.

syawal's been good.
although i have not covered many houses unlike previous years.
im just not in a festive mood.
forgiveness can be seek at any other time anyway.
nonetheless,i have lots of 'open-house' invitations.
last week i got 4 and i'll have another 3 this weekend.
saturday will be too critical to go anywhere.(exams!!!)
so anyway,apologies to sally,hafiz,adi,ein and reza.im not able to attend yours'.

despite exams,what made me feel contented with myself is that i got a full month of ramadhan this year!
ever since i reached my puberty,never in my life i got a full straight 30 days of puasa.
what missing out is the full ibadah.
too bad,im not able to go through the whole process yet.
but hey,this is a good achievement.

this lebaran brings surprises.
the bitch that i dislike is actually my distant relative.
omg.i cant imagine seeing myself ber-'maaf zahir batin' dengan dia.
so anyway,walaupun perit,gua ikhlas lah!
a cousin's neighbour is someone i used to date with if my eyes didn't fool me.(i have yet to ask eka about that.)
and...and..and..an ex-boyfriend is now dating with a relative of mine.

what a world.what a small small world.

to enlighten myself up,i cant resist to impress mothers.
by nature,i think im good at this.
i don't fake it,just show them who i really am,give my heart and there!
mothers love me!*cringe*

although im irritated with her showering compliments and always give me those lovely stares,i feel so good inside.i don't know where this is leading to.*sigh
and his father is such a fine man!
i never stop saying to dzul how hot he is when he was young and never stop those incessant "eh handsomenya bapak you!".
he's pretty much annoyed that the girl he brings home actually fall for his father.
okay.please slap me for drooling over a 51 year old man!
sorry. im carried away with the thought of richard gere out of a sudden.heh.
now i know where all the good genes came from.
however,i really don't know what to imagine the possibilities if i let his family come to my house on the 2nd day of raya after received a call from dzul's mum.
my heart stopped and glancing at my mother,i came up with an excuse.

now,tell me..if your partner's(as for me,teman tapi mesra?!whatever.) family visited your house on the 2nd day of raya when they should be visiting their own relatives' what does that mean?
with his father's voice "ni kita nak masuk minang ni!cepat wawa!dzul dah nak lemau ni" on the background just makes me laugh my ass out.

subhanallah.
sekolah pon belom habis...masak cuma tau maggi dgn nasi goreng je..dgn bilek pon dah tak mcm bilek..nak kawin konon!

woes to you,man.

so,that's another story.i told you..this is draggy.
thanks to my dissapearance.

it's just the first week of raya and i have 2 wedding invitations.
so one is adi's friend and another is an old neighbour.

it was nice to see my old neighbourhood.
like me,there's a lot of changes as well.
it was nostalgic and i cant stop smiling looking at any spots which brought memories to me.
those childhood moments!
:)

i love the neighbourhood the most because it's a small estate and everyone know each other.
we are like a family.all kinds of races.
we all get along with one another.
it was so fun.
unlike at bukit batok.
i barely know the residents here!

all the makciks that recognised me were surprised to see how i have grown up and change.
so i get all sorts of questions.
'boyfriend' questions beats any other question asked.
what's new?

when i talked there's this makcik who keeps looking at me and the way i talk.
so when me and family excuse ourselves to visit old neighbour's house,she asked for our address and said something..
"...........baik2 kau wa..nanti ada yang masuk minang."
and i replied.."hah.takde lah.belom masa lagi..kalau ada nanti tengoklah mcm mana!"
at that instant,her answer makes me feels like fainting "abeh kalau makcik?suka tengok kau..alah.bukannya kau tak kenal si **** tu!kawan lama kan...kalau cik masuk untuk dia mcm mana?nak?!"

she was so serious that i stopped laughing and shot her an absurd look.
i quickly walked away and excuse myself to answer my phone.(thank god there's dzul to save me.)
she talked to nenek after that.
i was speechless and i think she's crazy.

after running away from her,nenek said that she's a relative of that asshole.
my uncle interrupted and said that the relations are strong..
he started with the "what if......" ridiculous points.
it's not gonna be true.
even if it is,i'll never accept it no matter what.

i had enough of all these drama.
not enough of that,we went to my 3rd uncle's house.
they talked about my future and how one day i'll need him if i were ever to marry.

fuck that.fuck that fuck that.

i won't marry if it's not needed then!
fuck all that.

i need to stop.im boiling over here already.

if u are still wondering,my father is that asshole.
and i wish he's dead.

my woes!